


(my dear) the end comes near

by carrieevew



Series: the sun rises and the day begins [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, F/M, Season Finale, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Spoilers, based on the promos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 02:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrieevew/pseuds/carrieevew
Summary: my own version of the season finale, fluff and sappiness ahead.





	(my dear) the end comes near

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenofchildren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofchildren/gifts).



> with a special dedication to [queenofchildren](http://queenofchildren.tumblr.com/).
> 
> the title from **_[The End](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqAP5ZA2Lkg)_** by Pearl Jam; and for the record, whoever decided to release that score _before_ the finale, is an evil genius.
> 
> i've only done some minimal editing so if there are mistakes (of course there are), i do apologise for them.
> 
> hope you enjoy!

“So, how are we doing?”

With Echo and Emori resting at the back of the lab and Murphy not leaving Emori’s side, they had decided that Monty and Harper would go the lighthouse bunker to retrieve the oxygenator while Bellamy radioed Polis to let them in on their travel plans and say goodbye to his sister.

Clarke was in the middle of shoving as much medical supplies as she could into a bag she’d found in a supply closed when she noticed Raven waving her over to her computer station.

“Well, the good news is that we still have a five-hour window to launch before the Ark is outside of our reach,” Raven answered but the concerned look on her friend’s face told Clarke that she was far from done.

“But?” she prompted and Raven sighed heavily.

“But there’s no way that this capsule would be able to carry all that weight,” Raven said, rubbing her forehead. “Even if we leave everything else behind, we _have to_ take the oxygenator and that weighs 72,5 kilograms, which is—”

“A whole person,” Clarke finished and her blood running cold.

“I tried different simulation, maybe not filling up all the hydrazine, but that would mean we’d be cutting it awfully close. And there’s nothing I can remove from the capsule itself, at least not in that little time,” Raven kept talking, weaving her shaking fingers through her hair. They caught on her hair tie and Raven yanked her hand in frustration, tendrils of her hair coming loose around her face.

They looked at each other in silence, there really wasn’t anything to say. Someone would have to stay behind or none of them would get to their destination.

Clarke sighed deeply, her breath coming out shakily.

“Other than that, are there any problems?” Clarke asked in a weak voice and Raven’s head snapped towards her, her eyes full of disbelief.

“You mean other than a certain death sentence for one of us?” Raven huffed. “Other than _that_ , we’re fantastic,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Good.” Clarke nodded her head, making up her mind. “That’s good, you’ll all be fine, then.”

“Y—” Raven rose from her seat. She took a step closer to Clarke and grabbed her forearm tightly. There was realisation in her eyes and Clarke shrugged but Raven shook her head firmly. “No. Whatever you’re thinking of—no. Clarke, you are not staying behind!” She hissed, trying not to alert anyone else.

Clarke put her hand over Raven’s, still resting on her forearm, and gently squeezed her friend’s fingers.

“I am the only one who has any chance of surviving, Raven,” Clarke said with a weak smile but the girl only snorted.

“Right, because you’re night blood is working so perfectly well,” Raven mocked with an eye roll but she sounded defeated. She let her head drop a little and she took a deep breath, readying herself for an argument but Clarke pulled her in for a hug before she opened her mouth.

“Please, Raven, don’t fight me on this one,” whispered hotly into Raven’s hair. “You have a chance to survive, that’s all that matters. Please, just let me do this.”

They held each other for a long moment until Clarke felt Raven deflating in her arms. She dropped her forehead on Clarke’s shoulder and let out a strangled breath. She took a step backwards, out of her arms and readjusted her stance.

“It’s not like I could _actually_ drag you with me, could I?” Raven joked awkwardly and it sounded like she was trying to hold her tears in. She nodded towards the office, sniffling softly. “But he might try, though,” she said and Clarke turned around to look at Bellamy through the glass wall.

He was still on the radio, talking and waving his hands animatedly. Even if Kane and her mother were opposing the idea of space travel, there was absolutely nothing they could do but apparently, they still decided to argue it. Bellamy must’ve felt her watching him because his eyes found her and her rolled his eyes with an exasperated expression.

Clarke sent him a weak smile before turning back to Raven.

“Please, don’t tell him. Or anyone. Just keep working and I’ll—” her voice hitched. “I’ll talk to him,” Clarke pleaded and Raven nodded her head.

 

***

“Your mother thinks that we’re insane and wishes for us to get back in the truck and drive back to Polis immediately,” Bellamy informed Clarke as she entered the office. He was leaning against the back of the chair, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

He’d removed his gloves and opened the zipper of his hazmat suit. His curls were flat from the hours he’d spent wearing his helmet and Clarke felt herself itching to run her fingers through them but instead, she just looked at him.

And clearly, she stayed quiet a little too long because Bellamy straightened up, looking at her inquisitively, his eyes narrowed a little.

“What’s wrong?” Bellamy asked and Clarke huffed a little, a tiny smile raising the corner of her mouth a little. He had always just—known.

“It’s—” Clarke started but then, she hesitated. “I just can’t believe we’re actually going back up there, you know?” she decided on and Bellamy nodded. It might’ve been her idea but it didn’t mean it wasn’t any easier for her to believe that they would actually be able to do it.

 _You won’t be_ , she heard a voice in her head but she chose to ignore it.

Bellamy got up from his chair and walked towards her, stopping only inches away from her, so close that she could almost feel his warm breath on her face. Her next breath came our ragged and Bellamy brought a hand to her cheek, her face softening as he looked into her eyes.

Clarke felt tears pooling and she ducked her head, nuzzling into his hand gently, hoping to hide her face away from him. And then, the next thing she knew, his arms were coming around her shoulders, cradling her into his chest. She brought her own arms around him, her hands clutching to the back of his suit and she pressed her head against his shoulder. She inhaled deeply and underneath the smell of smoke and dirt, there was unmistakably _Bellamy_.

“We’re gonna be fine up there,” he said, his voice soft and one of his hands stroking her hair lightly. “Just think of all that space we can have all to ourselves. And the front-row seats the new apocalypse,” he joked lamely and Clarke snorted.

Bellamy tightened his arms around her before moving away to look and her.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked and smiled when Clarke nodded. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him just yet.

 

***

The hours spent packing and preparing for launch passed way too quickly and before Clarke knew, it was time to go. She watched as her friends put on their suits, secured their breathing apparatuses and queued at the capsule door.

Bellamy was the last one to enter and when she didn’t follow, he turned around quickly, looking at her with confusion.

“I’m not going,” she said quickly, before he could ask anything. He reeled backwards slightly and looked like she’d just punched him. He nearly tripped over the sill on his way out of the capsule and ran down the ladder.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he shouted and her heart hurt over how broken he’d sounded.

“That capsule can’t carry all of us,” she explained quietly once he came up to her. In the corner of her eye, she saw the rest of the group peeking out of the capsule but the she focused solely on Bellamy. “ _Someone_ has to stay behind.”

“And you just decided that it has to be you?” Bellamy spat angrily and Clarke shrugged one shoulder.  
“Who would you throw out instead?” she asked and Bellamy snapped his mouth shut,  his jaw clenching. “I’m the only one who might survive down here.”

Bellamy looked at her in silent fury until Raven called out from the capsule that they needed to go now and Clarke grabbed his hand.

“Please, Bellamy, let me keep you safe,” she pleaded and after the long time, he gave in, his shoulders sagging. He backed away and went back up the ladder without a word, closing the doors behind him.

Clarke left the spaceport and close the hangar door. She watched the screen showing the capsule but when nothing happened for a few minutes, she got worried.

“Houston, we have a problem,” Raven’s voice sounded from the speakers in the lab and Clarke rushed to the microphone, asking what was going on. “The hatch isn’t opening, I think it must be opened manually,” Raven explained and Clarke grabbed the portable radio, running outside of the lab as quickly as she could, not even bothering to put on her hazmat suit.

The air was harsh as she ran past the rover and dropped to her knees at the control panel, following Raven’s instructions closely. Clarke felt the ground shake beneath her as she listened to Raven firing up the engines and starting the countdown.

The capsule popped out from the hatch with a mighty roar that nearly knocked Clarke over. She stood up and watched it climbed higher and higher.

“I see you,” Clarke said into the radio but had no idea if they even heard her. She stood there, her mouth gaping open, and watched until the capsule disappeared into the sky. She blinked a couple of times and wiped away the tears she didn’t even realised she’d shed before heading back to the lab.

She headed straight to the office to grab the last of her things before heading out to the lighthouse bunker. Oxygenator or no, that was still the only place where she could survive the death wave and Raven managed to link the computer there with the ones in the lab so that Clarke could monitor the situation outside and see when it was relatively safe for her to leave.

She was almost at the glass door when the sound of someone clearing their throat stopped her dead in her track. She slowly turned to her right and saw Bellamy, standing by that hangar door, his helmet in his hands. A small part of her brain tried to convince her that she was just hallucinating, that there was no way he was actually _there_ , but she knew better.

Clarke swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump that had suddenly grown in her throat. She stared at him in disbelief until finally, she started moving, picking up pace the closer she got to him. She pushed down the thought of just throwing herself into his arms and stopped at an arm’s length away from Bellamy.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Clarke hissed, throwing her hands up and resting them crossed at the top of her head. “You were supposed to be up there, _safe_ ,” she whined.

Bellamy stayed silent as he put his helmet down on the floor and came up to her. He took Clarke’s arms and gently removed them from her head, his hand sliding down slowly towards her hands. He squeezed her fingers and a shy smile blossomed on him beautiful, tired face.

“I couldn’t go up there without you, Clarke,” he spoke finally and Clarke’s breath hitched. “I let you go once before, I couldn’t do it again. I—” Bellamy stopped and she saw his eyes searching her face for—something. He brought one of his hands to her cheek and rubbed this thumb on her cheekbone, smiling at her. “I love you,” he said and Clarke’s knees nearly buckled underneath her. Instead, she took a step forward, put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, not caring for the moment that they were running out of time.

 

***

Clarke’s hand hovered over the syringe with the night blood solution. Bellamy rolled his sleeve up and was waiting patiently by her side. He sensed her hesitation and covered her palm with his, lowering them both until she grabbed the syringe and wrapped her finders around it.

“If this doesn’t work—” she started but he shook his head.

“Then it doesn’t,” he said and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “But we won’t know unless we try and we need to do it now, we’re running out of time.”

She knew he was right, of course she did. They only had so much food and when they ran out, they’d definitely have to at least try and leave the bunker in search of sustenance. But it was one thing to inject herself with an untested mixture that could still turn out deadly; it was completely another having to do the same to Bellamy, the thought of putting him in danger, _again_ , was unbearable.

She sighed heavily and turned to Bellamy who smile at her encouragingly. She grabbed the syringe properly and aimed it at his arm.

“I trust you,” he said and finally, she stuck it in, pushed the plunger and prayed to whoever was listening that he would be alright.

 

***

When the death wave finally came, they were locked in the bunker, sleeping on the couch in front of the screen. She didn’t think it would be possible for them to fall asleep but then Bellamy wrapped them both in a blanket, she burrowed against his side and before she knew, they were both _gone_ , exhaustion finally winning over.

They’d woken up to the sound of an alarm sounding form the speakers, as the countdown that Raven had set all those weeks ago finally reached zero.

They looked at each other and Clarke saw in his face exactly the same thing she self. It was rather—anticlimactic. There was no explosion, or an earthquake. The end of the world came with the sound of the wind breaking on the lighthouse and strong arms wrapped around her, making her feel safe in a way that she had no right to be.

Clarke moved against Bellamy so that she was kneeling on the couch next to him, their faces on the same level. She brought her hand up to caress is cheek.

“I love you,” she said so quietly that she wasn’t sure he even heard, but he did, a huge grin splitting his face. He leaned in to kiss her and as he wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her close to deepen the kiss, she felt the strangest thing. She felt happy.

**Author's Note:**

> do i _actaually_ believe that any of that will happen? of course not. but it has been and immense pleasure to write and, i hope, fun to read. do remember that feedback is like manna.
> 
> usually i'd say that you can find me on tumblr (@[carrieeve](http://carrieeve.tumblr.com/)) but i'm staying away from there in a last ditch effort to avoid the spoilers. so, if you even allude to anything that had not been covered by the promos, i will hunt your asses down and sue for damages.


End file.
